My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
COCAINE IS GR8
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
