Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
