I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
