You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
