question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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