I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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