When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
