I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
