So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
