so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
