i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
