i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
