I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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