4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i think my mom watched the whole time
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
