so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
