I didn't shave. On purpose
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
