Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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