I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize