So drunk its hurt
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
