She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
