Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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