turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
