I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize