I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
