so that wasnt chicken after all
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
