Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Alive.
So much puke
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
