so explain again why im purple
no
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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