i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
