Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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