so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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