DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
