While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
