wat bout pragnant strippers??
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
