oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
