I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
