i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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