You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
