If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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