I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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