he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
