I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
