You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
