Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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