guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Randomize
