I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
