We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
