dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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