New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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