yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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