So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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