We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
