Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
nutella sex= disaster
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
