I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
