My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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