We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Vodka?
Forever.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
