If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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