I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
