At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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