ADVERTISEMENT

• (540): View more from Virginia

  This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.

  Fav 16 863 2946

  share tweet
  

• (480): View more from Arizona

  I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  SHUT IT DOWN.

  Fav 58 962 5837

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (703): View more from Virginia

  Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall

  Fav 60 7513 1553

  share tweet
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.

  Fav 5 5793 1303

  share tweet
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman

  Fav 21 4692 2617

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.

  Fav 2 2026 1081

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (905): View more from Ontario

  Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.

  Fav 4 2651 1145

  share tweet
  

• (602): View more from Arizona

  You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.

  Fav 4 2213 1609

  share tweet
  

• (419): View more from Ohio

  I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.

  Fav 10 2840 962

  share tweet
  

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor

  Fav 0 706 541

  share tweet
  

• (504): View more from Louisiana

  I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.

  Fav 0 375 252

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (667): View more from Maryland

  He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.

  Fav 0 128 8

  share tweet
  

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman

  Fav 0 44 6

  share tweet
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.

  Fav 0 68 21

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (425): View more from Washington

  If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.

  Fav 0 17 50

  share tweet
  

Randomize