On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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