You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
