I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Is it penis luge time yet?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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